Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Have fun today.


Sounds klise, right? Something a sporting mom usually says, "Have fun today, kids!" when her kids off to the mall or seeing friends. Haha. Most of it, not happening in Malaysia. But well anyways, the tittle is regarding to something that has been in my mind for quite something. You see, I was blog walking this morning that I put my head into a friend's blog, something about confession about how she felt lately, and a part of it is about 'MENGUMPAT'! Yes, talk bad about other people.

I admit, most of time now my friends and I usually just sit, eat and talk from a topic to another, wasting time like konon a sisterhood talk. It's okay by me, because I don't usually pay too much attention towards it and tend to forget the minute I walk away from the room, and so not my habit to retell stories to others. But, when it comes to private or privacy stuffs like so, I became annoyed that I think 'the involve person' feeling too good about itself. Like I mention in my previous entry, she talks bad, she talks back! When you talk bad about a person, the person somehow will talk bad back to you to others. And, even worse. It's as simple as that.

I believe Allah S.W.T has bigger plan for us. Maybe, he wants a person to be extremely happy about how they are today because they tend to be 'not so happy' in future. Like, when we were talking bad about a person appearance, about how fat or ugly she is and how you want people to praise your beauty, maybe Allah S.W.T had decided that the fat ugly women is going to turn out to be a married women and a mother to extremely beauty with brain child. Who knows?

What ever we are doing is not going to result now. So, be careful of every words we are saying. Do not let the words eat us, okay? This is nothing personal, but I am hoping that we all can change the way we see other people. See it positive! People judge us from what we are doing and the words coming out straight from the  mouth. Talking bad about others and feeling too good about oneself is making others see more of us - about the way we think and how conservative we are.

Maybe, whatever we were saying are all true, but it's not our job to judge people. Don't take God's job.

Monday, October 29, 2012

How much I struggle now to cover up the pass.


A person mention to me few days back, about why I struggle so much in my study although I have confirmed to 'be a teacher'? Hmm.. I wonder why. It has been in my mind for quite sometimes ever since I walk in to this IPG. I asked myself, WHY? 

To be honest, the real reason about why I struggles so much is, I SCREWED UP MY PASSED LIFE! I don't struggle enough back then, too busy having fun as a teenager. I don't get best result in my SPM, although I think I could be better. I am also stupid as a teen. So, I try to made it up, especially for my dear parents and family. I want them to know how well I grow up as a young adult - covering up all my weakness when I was in my teen. I want them to be proud of me. I once had this bad fall in life that I lost most part of life, including person whom I thought was a best friend ever and family's trust. It would be bad if I still be in the same boat as four years before, right?

A person BEFORE and AFTER

I am basically try to be better in person - towards friends and family. But, it seems like I don't know my  real achievement towards friends since I have 'finger counting' friends, and only few person whom I can put my fully trust on. But it's okay :)

I pray hard to be a better one. 

I hope most of my friends are doing the same as me - being more mature towards life. 


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Видимо се опет - See you again


Just reached back from KL. We had the chance to say goodbye to dear Babah. I just cannot stop from crying. I cried earliest. I am just so weak. I even cried louder when I saw some of the soldiers cried during the parade. Not my intentions to burst into tears in front of the Babah, it's just it won't stop. I heard children crying and waving goodbyes and flying kisses, it hurts me more. I used to watch TV about how people go away to wars, and now it's happening to me and the rest of the family. It's sad to see our loved one waving goodbye. 

But, it's good to have someone like him as the protector. I felt protected, though. When I was there, I was talking to myself, "I am suppose to be a soldier, like him! I had choose the wrong path!". Am I choosing the wrong path? Is it wrong for me to be a teacher, not a soldier? I deeply thought of it, and I said, "I am a soul-fighter, just like my Babah!". I teach and assist young souls about life and about how to be human. As far as I know, I am not nerdy. I have aim about how to teach my students. I teach with care and concern. Teaching does not tiring me up, not at all. It was the surrounding that kept me down. 

We grew up seeing Babah not to be at home as frequent as a father should, but we certainly understand it well as times passed. It's not easy to be him. I admire the way he take care of us. Rushing back home even if he has to rush back then. It's the most valuable quality of with I want my future husband to have inside him - the importance of the family. 

Through out these years, I've been searching for a male soul who are most likely, or just like my Babah. I want and adore man with the hardship - struggling to be on top, knows how to do traditional chores and not being too dependable to gadgets and not living modernly, just like Babah used to be. I want my man to be that way. 

InsyaAllah, I have found one.

For now, let's pray for the best for my dear Babah. We all wanting him safe and sound, and safely return home to us. So much to tell. Deep down, all the Zainal's have our own unspeakable dilemma to where only Allah S.W.T knows.  

Saturday, October 6, 2012

Welcome, Molly!

As-salam =)

I am welcoming a new member joining us. I may get scolded because of this, but I just can't resist the cuteness and way they glide over. So, welcome Mollies!

Spot that two yellow guys? They're Mollies. 'Molly' is actually the type of fish they are. I called them my 'Hajah' dan 'Haji'. Because, they are like always do the tawaf around the glass. I was doing my assignment when I spotted it. I place them right in front of me, on my desk. It's sort of soothing and calming me whenever I see them. 

I rarely talk to fish. Just, I'll make sure I fed them enough, like several times a day. Oh, they eat a lot. The mouth are like vacuum cleaner. They suck all of it at once, but rarely poops. But when they do, they pooped big. Saw it few times. 

I also do research about Molly. I learnt that Molly are sea fish and they just love pears. Sometimes, we can even fed them boiled pear, like a pea-size. They go nuts over it. I never get the chance of doing so due to my busyness. Plus, I am a hostelian now. Hard to do so. I also learnt to identify the gender of the fish. For male, he's more like one slim-slender, and for the female, she got curve on the side. The female is also a bit bigger than the male itself. 

I am wishing to have more Mollies. I am eager to see and maybe buy some 'Balloon Molly'. It took after the gold fish, that I always been dreaming to have one. Gold fish need oxygen tank, but Molly don't. So, since the 'balloon' is more like it, I think I'll go for 'balloon' itself. Exciting, huh?

Mother will surely scolded me for this. 


For the time being, I am looking for some water plant for my fish so they'll live more happily. Wish my Mollies a good luck, okay? It's rare for my fish pet to live this long.