Friday, March 30, 2012

To see in other perspectives - I AM LIMITED EDITION!

As-salam =)

I tend to see how others treat me as threat. Not everybody, just somebody. I take it too seriously that sometimes I begin to stress myself out - like working harder, rest shorter. As I woke up today, I suddenly start to view things in other perspectives, the perspective I never thought of. I put myself with others place to rationally think about WHY? they start to treat me that way. 

And I found one reasonable answer. Answer to all my doubtfulness all these years. Only one answer valid this question. And it is,

"I AM GOOD" - 

I used to think myself as a failed person in every categories; as students, daughter and woman. I view myself as a person with lack of personalities with many weaknesses. I do not know my own strength, really. But, since some of that somebody start to ditch me and play rough on me, it lends me to this one critical thinking.


"BECAUSE I AM GOOD!" Like this incident where one of the teacher file a complain about me. I wonder what my teaching had to do with him that he filed up a complain? Then, I realize that he somehow threatens by me.  Really! I was told about his ambition and aim to be 'Guru Cemerlang'. Maybe he saw some potentials in me - the way I handle my class for the first time ever AND, I did better than him in pass. Right! I am pretty sure about this. Other wise, he won't feel this uneasy. Am I right?

To be honest, by thinking in other perspectives made me appreciate myself more. This incident made me realize about people desperation to be on top of the world - what they tend to do to others. Some may step on others, while a little choose to do this the right way. 


Other perspectives.

I must tell, this may lead to heart-ache. Even I did. I even cry to myself regarding the matter. But now, I found a solution about how to cope up with things like this. And it is, TO VIEW THINGS IN OTHER PERSPECTIVES! By perspectives, I really mean, many point of views. Try it! It maybe the second best medicine other than pray to Allah S.W.T. 

Many other perspectives.

Not everybody have strength to do this. Some may just drown into their own tears and tend to run away from the reality - reality about how tough life is. For me, it's good to still stand and fight for myself for Barakah, even after few stepped really hard on me. My way of doing this is, TO VIEW THINGS IN OTHER PERSPECTIVES!

Try it. It works.

And, that is why I AM LIMITED EDITION!

This 22 years old girl is currently changing her goal in life. She's aiming for something higher yet clearer. But, whatever in life you aim to do, just do it with good intention, then Allah S.W.T will help too. InsyaAllah.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

What so limited edition?

As-salam =)

There is a mini-giveaway contest I've been thinking about lately. I've to write and create an entry about 'I AM LIMITED EDITION'! But, the thing is, I really don't know I am limited edition. I don't know where are my strengths, but spotted so many weaknesses about myself. I mean, these passed two weeks of practicum had been not so pleasant. Students did not fear me. I lost control on some of the classes, even the first class. You see, I am too worried about students not getting involve in every activities I made, so I keep on repeating orders; two, three times and sometimes more. Due to my action, the class keeps dragging and I did 'step in' other teacher's period. It was on my first week of practicum.  Chaos!

As for today, the lecturer came to observe. My fiance and I, we've been told about this and we did the best that we can. My observation starts first at 7.40 a.m until 8.40 a.m. Over all, she's happy with the way I control the class. Alhamdulillah. 

But, I'd noticed that one of teachers there marked as ROF, he did went to see my lecturer to complaint about me. He squads down beside the table and tells tale about my dragging thing. End of lesson, my lecturer, fiance and I had a talk about improving the teaching skills, our strength and weaknesses. She did mention about ROF complaints about my behaviour. And I explained to her about what really happened and she's  okay with that. She even backs me up about it. She did mention about ROF being so unprofessional about this. Because, instead of confronting me, he ends up telling the fiance about it. He had his chance to talk me out about this but he never did. 

I don't mind people complaint about me. It's good to helps me build up my teaching skills and the control towards my lesson. BUT, 

  1. He's not coming directly to see me to talk about it.
  2. Yet, he ends up to see my lecturer  without even consult it with me.
  3. He's not a good teacher to begin with. 
I've seen him teaching. He teaches with his feet up on the table, resting to the chair.

So, by seeing his way of teaching, then I must say, he's not the right person to judge me and file a complaint about me! Okay? I am pretty angry now. I planned to walk my students towards their class and meet him. Tekad!

Aku tak peduli kalau dia nak complain aku ni guru pelatih yang ego or what. Hell with it! 'cause he's not the right person to do so! With his sloppy looking, kemeja berlengan pendek, seluar slack yang dilipat bawah dan jambang  yang tak terurus, dia memang tak layak nak tegur aku. Komplain cukup kencang tapi diri sendiri tak tengok pulak!

Fullstop. Jarang aku marah tapi this time memang so HOT! Bukan dia yang nak menilai pengurusan kelas aku, so why should I scared of him? He has no reason to be respect!

Friday, March 23, 2012

Sulking cry baby


Today is the worst day of my teaching experience. I had to deal with this 10 years old boy who claimed to be 4 years old. He sulks most of time. And the sour face on him has really turns me on. I yelled and threaten him, but in the end, I came up with a counselling idea. I talk to him about fitness and how to get fit. He's a bit uncomfortable when friends called him 'a cry baby' and 'fat'. He's not that fat. A little bit bulges and that's it! I asked about the family. As expected, he's the only child in the family. So, no wonder la he doesn't know how to tolerate with people. The father is a contractor while the mother works in a factory. From what I see, I think he came from one rich or at least stable family - extra money. 

It is quite challenging to deal with this one kind of student. I asked teachers about this boy. It is one normal 'sulking scene' of him. I sort of make one deal with him. I promised to buy him a badminton racket and shuttlecock IF he behaves while my class. NO CRYING, NO SULKING & NO YELLING! If he happens to break the promise, I can make him sing in front of the class. We made 'pinky promise'. He agreed to my terms and conditions applied. 

It's only my first week of practicum. I would love to see the improvements in him. And, I wished for him to be one better person. The world will be too tough for the cry baby. Already been too tough for me. 


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

One tiring teaching experience

As-salam =)

My day starts off with an co-curriculum activities. I choose handball as my game. Sort of a new game to me, but still, it goes out well. Alhamdulillah, even though the teachers there seem to not have plan about what to do and how to do it. 

A real time begins at 8.40 a.m. I am handling a year four class consists of 35 students (26 boys and 9 girls). It's so hard to handle a bunch of students at one time. I thought I was being so fierce all the time, but when it comes to time for reflection, the teacher said, "You're too soft! Go with fierce or they will kick on you". She also remains me to shout more - voice seems so slow since the field is crowded with at least three classes. 

It's okay. I am glad I made mistakes at my very first class. ^ ^

What I'd learnt about today's lesson? I knew better now that teaching is tiring. And, you need to eat to stay put through the rest of the day. Seriously, my hands shaking like hell. I am not nervous in handling class. It's just, I am so freaking tired. Lack of sleeps. Even the ccpp can't survive the day.

So, good luck on myself and friends. May Allah have bless on you. Pray hard for it. Pray hard for tomorrow.

Monday, March 19, 2012

First thing first.

As-salam =)

Kekok bila kita diberikan tugas tapi kita sendiri tak tahu di mana nak mula. First day of practicum at SK Seberang Jaya, Persiaran Siakap, Seberang Jaya, Pulau Pinang. Hope for the best! InsyaAllah. Currently doing my lesson plan for tomorrow. Esok, bermulanya 'dunia perguruan' yang sebenar! Aku sedikit gugup, tapi I pray hard for things to go well. 

So, hello 4 Cegak! Nice to meet you guys. Be nice with me, okay?

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Google search ajek ^ ^

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Taking one big step.

As-salam =)

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Clock strikes to 12.00am. It's officially the beginning of 18 Mac 2012. My fellow friends and I are taking one big step ahead of us and one step closer to be a teacher. I'll start teaching for one month at SK Seberang Jaya, Seberang Jaya, Pulau Pinang. It's like, the butterflies never show sign of leaving. I am so nervous and so damn excited at the same time. I don't know how to react. My pedagogy still need some repairs.

Oh God. Have mercy on me.