Thursday, January 10, 2013

When people are cloning you.

As-salam =)

Have you ever been in this such situation? People copying most things you did. Well, I've been in both ways, I copied people and people copied me. Nature's law. What you did is what you'll get back. To be honest, I have this type of 'annoying' feeling at first when I first spotted some people. But, it just fade away after that. I was talking to myself, "WHY?". Doesn't A have better things to do? Why don't A just trim and add on something else, rather than using my plain way of doing thing? Doesn't A know the word 'MODIFIED'? Hmm. I felt like I have lost some parts of the identity. Guess I have to find another way or a new way to express in whatever I am doing. 

I once copied a person. I kind of adore B because of the way B handles things. But I soon had this wake up call that really wake me up, like pronto. Why would I copy B? I have more potential than B. I am Zainal Abidin's daughter! I've my father's potential inside of me. In fact, I have actually beaten B in most ways. Alhamdulillah ^ ^ This such situation only will be happening if we don't trust our own potential, that we need someone else to be like a shadow to oneself. For my situation, I don't simply copy whatever B is doing. In fact, I modified. I learnt from B's mistakes and soon get on with it. That's how it's done. 

A, A would take a sneak peek to my doing and do exactly the same as me. I noticed, trust me I did. Awhile ago. It annoys me a bit. Now, this copycat doing somehow spread to C. Hmm. I am loosing another part of myself. I have to struggle for more of myself. Must dig deeper. Haaiish.

Some people would say, "It's good when people willingly to be you". But the thing is, don't be exactly me. Don't do exactly what I am doing. Take me as an inspiration to you, and that's it. Just, don't be me. I don't think I am worthy enough to be copied or cloned. 

I've face kind of situation "when people cloning you", like the exact you. The subject happened to be my former high school's classmate. She would do exactly as I did. She copied the way I walk, talk, act and even my favorite food. She insisted to like it, even she's not. It's sushi. Not everybody would love sushi, right? OMG. Get your own life, please.

This copying or cloning thing, is so not good, at the age of 22. I am truly understand if this occur in the teen age, when teens are at lost of what are they going to be, that they need somebody to be inspired by. Truly, I am okay with it. It's just, now appropriate enough for young adults to still have this kind of behavior. Like, come on. Cloning else where, okay? I am not perfect. I have my own ups and downs. I get mad even to the most ridiculous things to get mad on. I stingy to what I think is mine, and I rarely share unless it's important. 


This is such a big ?? for me. I keep on asking myself. Why I bothered the matter so much? ... because I have to compete with my another self, like with plenty of other extra good criteria. And it's such a big job too. And also, I felt like this is sort of another version of 'sabotaging'. The person would copy you, copy your way of doing chores, and claiming it to be theirs, and you've to alter all the works all over again. All over again by finding new ideas and elaborate everything in a new form of understanding in last minutes. Before you getting any further, this is not about Hubby. Not even a bit. He's truly not this kind of person. We fight with each other in a good way, really. No sabotaging, never. 

Tired, even just to write the dilemma down. I am mentally tired of all this cloning-cat things. Hope for this to end soon and never happen again. 


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