This is something unusual about myself, something that never been in my mind for these past few good years. I've been thinking a lot about it - give a deeper thought about what might be going on behind the back, to something I put my 100% trust on might come to the end. Hope not.
If I am dealing with the same situation at the age of 17, I could go nuts about it. It won't be so peaceful as things are nowadays.
For some reasons, I felt threatens by it - to the situation. I know that I am actually winning, yet feel like losing - already fall far behind. I don't know! But why in the world I feel that way? I have this one intuition lately. Some uneasy feeling, like there's something going on behind the back. It's just, seems so not. I can never detect the 'falseness'. I used to be so damn good about it - I can really tell when people are hiding something. But now? Oh, sometimes I wish to have part of my skill back.
But, I hope for the best. I wish to tie the knot. Pray hard.
^ ^ I still smile, aren't I? Even on toughest obstacles.