Видимо се опет - See you again

As-salam

Just reached back from KL. We had the chance to say goodbye to dear Babah. I just cannot stop from crying. I cried earliest. I am just so weak. I even cried louder when I saw some of the soldiers cried during the parade. Not my intentions to burst into tears in front of the Babah, it's just it won't stop. I heard children crying and waving goodbyes and flying kisses, it hurts me more. I used to watch TV about how people go away to wars, and now it's happening to me and the rest of the family. It's sad to see our loved one waving goodbye. 

But, it's good to have someone like him as the protector. I felt protected, though. When I was there, I was talking to myself, "I am suppose to be a soldier, like him! I had choose the wrong path!". Am I choosing the wrong path? Is it wrong for me to be a teacher, not a soldier? I deeply thought of it, and I said, "I am a soul-fighter, just like my Babah!". I teach and assist young souls about life and about how to be human. As far as I know, I am not nerdy. I have aim about how to teach my students. I teach with care and concern. Teaching does not tiring me up, not at all. It was the surrounding that kept me down. 

We grew up seeing Babah not to be at home as frequent as a father should, but we certainly understand it well as times passed. It's not easy to be him. I admire the way he take care of us. Rushing back home even if he has to rush back then. It's the most valuable quality of with I want my future husband to have inside him - the importance of the family. 

Through out these years, I've been searching for a male soul who are most likely, or just like my Babah. I want and adore man with the hardship - struggling to be on top, knows how to do traditional chores and not being too dependable to gadgets and not living modernly, just like Babah used to be. I want my man to be that way. 

InsyaAllah, I have found one.

For now, let's pray for the best for my dear Babah. We all wanting him safe and sound, and safely return home to us. So much to tell. Deep down, all the Zainal's have our own unspeakable dilemma to where only Allah S.W.T knows.  

Welcome, Molly!

As-salam =)

I am welcoming a new member joining us. I may get scolded because of this, but I just can't resist the cuteness and way they glide over. So, welcome Mollies!

Spot that two yellow guys? They're Mollies. 'Molly' is actually the type of fish they are. I called them my 'Hajah' dan 'Haji'. Because, they are like always do the tawaf around the glass. I was doing my assignment when I spotted it. I place them right in front of me, on my desk. It's sort of soothing and calming me whenever I see them. 

I rarely talk to fish. Just, I'll make sure I fed them enough, like several times a day. Oh, they eat a lot. The mouth are like vacuum cleaner. They suck all of it at once, but rarely poops. But when they do, they pooped big. Saw it few times. 

I also do research about Molly. I learnt that Molly are sea fish and they just love pears. Sometimes, we can even fed them boiled pear, like a pea-size. They go nuts over it. I never get the chance of doing so due to my busyness. Plus, I am a hostelian now. Hard to do so. I also learnt to identify the gender of the fish. For male, he's more like one slim-slender, and for the female, she got curve on the side. The female is also a bit bigger than the male itself. 

I am wishing to have more Mollies. I am eager to see and maybe buy some 'Balloon Molly'. It took after the gold fish, that I always been dreaming to have one. Gold fish need oxygen tank, but Molly don't. So, since the 'balloon' is more like it, I think I'll go for 'balloon' itself. Exciting, huh?

Mother will surely scolded me for this. 

Haha.

For the time being, I am looking for some water plant for my fish so they'll live more happily. Wish my Mollies a good luck, okay? It's rare for my fish pet to live this long.

6 months outside the usual

As-salam =)

It has been almost six months living outside the usual. To be honest, I learnt more about friendship this way, to see how people and myself react on some very unusual situations, like never happen before. It is quite tiring to have to move out and pack things all over again. But hey, I am flexible. As long as I don't hear complaints afterwards, it's fine by me. 

Things I love the most about living here is, to go out whenever I desire. But, for the privacy parts, ZERO, like almost none. People go in and of of the bedroom to go to the toilet. Hey, really it's okay! It's just, I hate people sneak into my stuffs. You don't use ticket of 'classmate' to simply take a look at my stuffs. I may have some part of myself to where I put a border between you and me, because we are just a classmate, and happen to be only friends - not a close one. The border between you and me still thick and thickening. I tell to only people that I trust, and have potential to 'keep the mouth shut', and not complaining at all.

So, this is my blog. I tell only the truth. Deep down inside myself, I am quite happy to move in back to the hostel - to get the privacy back, even some part of me still struggling to accept it. 

Be patient. Only a year away.