Case closed.

As-salam 

For some reason, I prefer blog to express the hell out of me. I love writing, although I know people might not have interest of what's going on with my life. Just, WTH? As you know, the school holiday had just begun. I also having my semester break. I don't have any particular event, or anything. I kind of a family-person kind of girl. I stayed home like a lot. Due to that, people rarely notice me as someone that they could rely on. I don't blame them. I might have a slight of heart-ache, sometimes, but I really don't blame them. Really! Really? Hmmm... don't know for sure. 

I am going to tell the truth about what's going on now. You see, I rarely have best friend. And only have several friends that can be labelled as 'best friend' and 'close friend'. Whenever I go, I will try my best to visit her, and at least have dinner together. But, things had changed since her break-up. We rarely contact each other, not even on FB! I was a bit worried about her since her ex keep calling me asking about her. And of course, I would back her up, even she's way wrong! But the thing is, she don't give me much to tell. I called her on her birthday last year, which was on April. She was celebrating, I think and I couldn't get the best of our conversation. I left a long message on her FB, asking her to reply or call me back, or at least arrange a meet-up later, but NEVER! 

On August, I was having a blast on my birthday, celebrating it with hubby and housemate. I keep on checking my FB's wall looking for her post, but NOTHING IS THERE! I smiled a little when I received a text message from her, wishing me a happy birthday and a slight of personal message wrote as, "kau marah aku lagi ke mek?". My ego is as high as the mountain, but I sincerely reply, "yes. dah banyak bulan aku tunggu explaination kau. and dalam banyak2 wishes, kau punya la yang aku tunggu2!". Too direct, right? But best friend are suppose to be direct! We are like sisters (back then!). But, NOTHING IS HAPPENING! No phone call, no meeting up!

It goes about a year. And this year, I don't even wish her a birthday. I bare in mind that she would notice about me not wishing her, but hell no! The truth is, this is hurting me! 

Last Saturday (25th May 2013), she got engaged. I just found out about it not until yesterday on FB. That is not even  a private engagement ceremony. She got all her best friends coming over, and I don't even get an invitation! Not even a phone call. Ya Allah, aku tahu bahawa orang yang berkecil hati lebih berdosa dari orang yang mengecilkan hati orang, tapi sedihnya bukan kepalang. Aku sangat sedih. Entah! Rasa semua tak kena. :'( Dia dah berubah, that's for sure!

Mungkin aku pun bukan sahabat yang baik. Aku tahu dan aku sedar. Aku memang tak berapa reti berkawan, terutama dengan perempuan. Aku masih tak berapa boleh faham kenapa perempuan-perempuan boleh berkawan baik? Tak nampak bondnya di situ! Entah. 

Dan aku pun tak tahu macam mana nak coretkan lagi. Apa-apa pun, aku kena teruskan juga melangkah. But, now I really know where I stand! Maafkan aku Ya Allah sebab tak redha dengan ketentuan-Mu! Dugaan sekecil ni pun aku dah rasa goyah, apatah lagi dugaan-dugaan lain? Aku redha. Kuatkan aku. Semoga aku dah tak sebut tentang perkara ini lagi.

Case closed. Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih kerana telah meminjamkan dia dan keluarganya kepada aku. =)

Minggu tanpa mengeluh.

As-salam =)

Hai. Hari ini hari Ahad, alhamdulillah semuanya OK saja. Permulaan hari yang baik, harapnya. Celik saja mata terus solat, basuh baju dan angkut barang selebihnya dari blok G. Penat! Tapi, terubat juga penat bila tengok gelagat kucing ngada-ngada bertenggek depan bilik. Semuanya sibuk jamu selera dengan makanan kucing timbang tu. Sedap agaknya? Atau pun depa sangat-sangat lapar. Hehe, so comel!

Sekarang ni masa untuk aku berehat. Lepas ni sambung kerja lagi. Buka saja blog, aku amat tertarik dengan satu entri ni, mengenai 'Allah Melarang Hambanya Mengeluh'.

Mengeluh. Perbuatan ini sangat dikutuk oleh agama dan hukumnya haram. Kerana itu Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda,:

 

" Tiga macam daripada tanda kekafiran terhadap Allah, merobek baju, mengeluh dan menghina nasib orang."

 

Dan sabdanya pula, " Mengeluh itu termasuk kebiasaan Jahiliyyah, dan orang

yang mengeluh, jika ia mati sebelum taubat, maka Allah akan memotongnya bagi pakaian dari wap api neraka." (Riwayat oleh Imam Majah)

Bila tengok saja sabda Rasulullah S.A.W di atas ni, aku rasa jahil sangat. Rasanya minggu lepas memang tak putus-putus aku mengeluh perihal bilik asrama, kan? Sampai mencarut. Sampai macam-macam kata-kata nista aku semburkan pada individu yang terlibat. Macam-macam aku doakan. Urut dada, isyhtifar. Ya Allah, apa sudah aku lakukan? Allah Maha Mengetahui. Mungkin sebab itu jodoh aku masih lagi tak sampai-sampai. Aku masih tidak layak pangku gelaran 'ISTERI'. Mungkin. Allah Hu Akbar. Betul rancangan Allah S.W.T. Aku masih budak lagi dalam menguruskan perihal hati. Lancar saja aku mengeluh bila semuanya tidak seperti yang aku rancang. Berkali-kali pula tu. 

Dan, bila kita tengok orang mengeluh, pada masa yang masa, kita pun akan turut mengeluh sama? Kan? Rasa makin berat masalah yang dipikul, makin berat untuk selesaikannya. Betul kan? Rasa bersalah pula dekat kawan-kawan. Mesti diorang pun rasa terbeban sama. Ya Allah, berdosanya aku.

Bila dah tahu yang mengeluh itu berdosa, harap-harap aku boleh dan mampu untuk kurangkan mengeluh. Kadang-kadang kita mengeluh, cuma kita sendiri tak sedar. Kan? Apa yang mampu, mungkin keluhan boleh diganti dengan senyuman atau pun cuma sekadar ketawa kecil. Hilangkan stress. Bila semuanya serba tak kena, itu maknanya kita memang perlu walk away dari situ dan relax, sebelum sambung semula. Betul kan? Everything just fall off when we stress out. So, the best is to relax and chill out, until it feels right again. 

Walau apa pun, aku bersyukur kerana berkat ketabahan kami semua, kami sudah pun ditukarkan ke blok dan bilik baru yang lebih releven dengan tahap kesibukan semester tahun akhir ni. Kami tak putus-putus merayu dan ikhtiar selesaikan masalah ni. Alhamdulillah. Bilik pun dah semakin tersusun. Cuma tinggal barang kecil-kecil saja yang masih belum diuruskan. Lepas ni boleh lah fokus study pula (konon kan?). Paling kurang pun, kurang sikit bebanan dan tekanan untuk belajar dengan uruskan bilik yang tak sudah-sudah. 

Kan? Umur dah makin meningkat. Sepatutnya sudah banyak perkara yang kita dah tahu dan amalkan. Tapi aku? Masih di takuk lama. In fact, masih tak matang-matang. Masih kuat complain itu ini, situ sini. Sedih dengan diri sendiri.

Berdoalah supaya kita terhindar dari tanda kekafiran. Kita cuma hamba Allah S.W.T yang biasa, yang tidak akan lari bari berbuat silap. Oleh itu, sentiasalah berdoa memohon Allah S.W.T mengampuni dosa-dosa kita. 

Hidup bukan sekadar di dunia sahaja, kan?

Fake kindness and bla bla bla.

As-salam

Sudden, random entry for the night. My youngest sister suddenly mention about a friend of mine - not longer exist. She said, "Tiyah, shasha ingat lagi dulu friend tiyah punya rumah ada benda ni. Shasha main dengan atok dia, adik dia ... bla bla bla!". My reaction was, **sudden freeze** OMG! She remembers it? Damn! She said for him to be kind to me, helping me, bla bla bla! I kind of shocked and emotional - a bit. I said, "I am no longer be friend with him. He's no good person. You don't even mention him again, okay?, when I was playing Pictureka game with her. 

Fucking faker - fake smile and kindness.

Big fakers - fake to show kindess

It's hard to look at the pass. I don't even want to remember any of it anymore, even though the pass made me who I am today. It's better to not mention it at all. Yes, fakers are everywhere. Fakers tend to show kindness, like 'oh, I am so perfect. I helped people and I love animals', like WTF? Ah, give me a break! So damn annoying and heart-ache, oke? 

I found several almost-be-a-fakers who always practice kindness and hardworking-ness, like 24/7! Just, they are not all the time annoying, just sometimes. But I am still okay with it, really.

So, spot your own fakers and be more cautious about it. Learnt from mistakes made and never turn back as it will hold you down and walk you slow. 

Aku dah sedar diri. Terima kasih.

As-salam

Alahai, sejak bila entri BM ni? HAHA. BI leceh sikit nak karang-marang. Sekarang mood 'kasi tibai' je, janji ada entri. HAHA. Aku tulis aje banyak 'HAHA', tapi hati ni tak ada siapa yang tahu. Dah berbulan-bulan berlalu sejak peristiwa tu. Aku still tunggu penjelasan dari dia tentang, Kenapa boleh jadi macam tu?, Apa yang dah berlaku?, Kenapa korang break?, dll, tapi hampa hampas teh sangat! Aku berharap, terus terang la aku cakap. Tapi sekarang ni, aku dah sedar diri. Aku dah berhenti berharap, betul. Sebab, aku sendiri dah tak tahu banyak benda tentang kau. Cara pembawakan diri kau pun dah nampak beza, like I don't know you anymore, so, that's it!

We are not more than just a childhood friend. Fullstop.

We used to be A-Z!

But now, it's just like this one. 

Masing-masing dah besar and matang, so we lead our own path. Still, no heart feeling, sebabnya manusia datang dan pergi. If this turns to be like this, then so obvious that you no longer need me in your life. Fine by me.

I have something to tell you, deary.

"I have always cherish the moments of us together. You're in my world ever since I am just an ugly fat kid. You've been in all my ups and downs. Thank you for that. I think you knew me enough. Just, not well enough. We did made time for that, but we didn't bought enough times, though. Now the time had passed, we've been too far from each other that I can clearly see there's no turning back, so be it. Thank you to prove I am right, that you are not more than just my childhood best friend. No heart feeling. I can live up with all the good memories of us. Until death do us apart. Thanks."

Terima kasih. 

Alkisah Jalan Todak.

As-salam 

Hari ini rasa amat malas nak bangun pagi. Rasa nak sorok dalam selimut lama-lama, sebabnya hari ini aku secara terpaksa drive ke Penang untuk maki-maki orang. Tengah syok-syok cuti-cutian sambil online 24/7, tetiba broadband tak boleh connect. Memang hangin satu badan la! But then, mula-mula masih berbaik sangka lagi, kononnya mungkin masalah line, or masalah laptop berat, etc. Nak sedapkan hati ye sebenarnya tu. Bila masih tak boleh, jari mula gatal dail 1111 - Celcom Customer Service. Sangat terkejut bila CCS cakap aku ada bayaran tertunggak untuk broadband. Memang bodoh betul sebab aku already buat payment sampai bulan Disember, oke? Last payment yang dicatatkan was on 7th September. Memang bodoh!

Alkisahnya, bulan Julai hari tu lepas elaun masuk, aku dah tukar pelan untuk broadband. Kononnya, nak pilih line lebih laju la supaya senang online. Aku buat urusan dengan satu kiosk Celcom di Jalan Todak, Penang. Oke, kejap lagi aku akan attach map ye? Supaya tak ada orang yang akan alami benda yang sama dengan aku. Menyusahkan betul! Aku dah buat payment sebanyak RM400.00 TUNAI untuk bayaran broadband dari Julai hingga Disember, termasuk bayaran tunggakan untuk pelan broadband sebelum ni. Bulan Ogos hari tu, perkara yang sama berlaku. Aku call CCS tanya akan perkara ni, then CCS cakap yang CCS terima arahan untuk deactivate akaun broadband aku. Aku sangat-sangat pelik walhal aku tak pernah keluarkan arahan macam tu. Aku marah sampai menggeletar tangan, tapi kena cover sebab masa aku tahu perkara ni, aku dalam mesyuarat guru (time praktikum). Tak ada orang yang bodoh akan matikan servis sedangkan dah bayar wang sedepuk kan? So, aku pun call dealer tu and siap ugut-ugut nak lapor polis. Dia takut then terus aktifkan semula line aku. Oke, lepas kes ni aku ingat dah tak ada apa-apa la. Tapi Ahad yang lepas (11.11.2012), hal yang sama berulang balik. Aku sampai terpaksa ke Celcom Centre, ambil nombor, tunggu giliran untuk bincangkan hal ni dengan pekerja Celcom. Yang malangnya, pekerja tu cakap susah nak tolong if aku tak ada resit. Yes, memang ada resit cuma aku sudah terhilangkan since dah banyak kali pindah randah dan merempat. Salah sendiri kan?

Since resit dah hilang, berserta nombor telefon dealer tu, aku terpaksa drive ke Penang pagi ni untuk bersemuka dengan dealer bodoh tu. Haaiisshh!! Memang ganggu cuti aku betul! Time drive punya berkobar-kobar nak cari gaduh, fikir nak cakap apa, sambil dengar HITS.FM dengan lagu catchy memang menaikkan semangat aku nak 'senteng lengan baju' dan 'angkat kain'. Tapi, bila Mama tukar ke channel SINAR.FM, ayyyooo... memang mood gaduh pudar terus dalam diri aku. Aku cakap kat Mama,

"Ma. Tadi pasang lagu mat saleh, boleh la feel feel nak cari gaduh sat lagi, tapi ni dah tukar channel, lagu dangdut pulak, rasanya kejap lagi mesti Tirah cakap, 'awak tak boleh aktifkan balik broadband saya? tak apa. tak apa (nada redha)'. HAHA!"

Memang sangat stress. Sampai terpaksa gelak. Giler! Sampai dengar lagu Rihanna terbaru tajuk, 'Diamond' kot? pun rasa lawak dan bodoh semacam tempo lagu tu. Aku drive sambil gelak sampai terlepas stering. HAHA! Bodoh. But, bila sampai situ, aku terus ke kiosk bodoh tu dan deal dengan dealer tu. Aku ingat dah bankrup sebab kedai dia messy semacam. Rupanya baru buka. Dealer tu minta aku ke kiosk lain sebab dia baru bukak kedai. Masa tu pukul 2.00 PM oke? Baru nak buka kedai, orang lain dah pergi makan tengahari. Aku mention pasal payment masuk tak habis setiap bulan, line terminated, etc, tapi reaksi dia ialah:

"Oh, you yang hari tu buat payment RM400.00 kan? Hari tu sudah masuk payment la".

AKU: "Aaah. Memang la dah masuk payment, tapi last payment was on 7th Sept. Now already 12 Nov. How come? I didn't pay much for such craps! I terpaksa drive from Sg. Petani to settle this".

"Oh why you tak call saya maa?"

"Cause I thought you learnt your lesson bila saya ugut nak report polis hari tu. OK, now is like this, tolong bayar baki duit broadband saya in FULL - RM162.00!" 

"Oh. Ok. Saya masukkan la baki you haa. Next month you bayar sendiri."

Lesson learnt! Untuk urusan rasmi yang melibatkan jangka masa panjang, tolong uruskan hal tersebut dengan pihak atasan. Contoh dalam kes ni, CELCOM CENTRE sendiri. Berurusan dengan dealer cuma perihal top-up dan beli SIM sahaja oke? Jika tak mahu berkesudahan macam aku, please dengar cakap dan belajar dari pengalaman aku.

Celcom Centre (Main). Selang beberapa kedai sahaja.

JALAN TODAK, sederet dengan Maxis Centre.

Aku tak peduli kalau gambar atas ni kurang jelas ke apa. Lantak. Moody lagi ni. Walaupun dah boleh online, tapi tetap menyampah.

Lately, aku makin kerap nak ditipu peniaga or penjaja tepi jalan. Macam hari tu aku sangat2 stress dengan situasi semasa, aku keluar jalan-jalan beli barang sorang kat Tesco Extra Penang, aku disapa penjaja barangan elektrik. Diorang tawarkan aku barangan elektrik berharga RM3388.00. Lepas dapat kupon bertuah, aku dapat less sehingga 40% OFF, so harga suda jadi RM2023.00 dan boleh dapat free 1 barang bernilai RM3388.00. Orang bodoh barang elektrik macam aku memang sangat2 impressed dengar tawaran tu, kan? Peniaga tu insisted untuk aku buat Kredit Kad on the dot, but nasib aku berkeras juga nak call Mama tanya dia pasal hal ini. Mama suruh aku lari dari tempat tu. Lepas tu baru aku boleh fikir logik. Oke, tempat MASAK HOT PLATE yang macam kaca satu line tu harga RM3388.00 aku boleh percaya sebab maybe harga mahal pasal jenama Antarabangsa, tapi Microwave Oven, Air Purifier, Vacuum, individually harga RM3388.00, macam tipu kan? Belum masuk hal insurans Prudential lagi. Bodoh. Rugi duit saja!

Wake up! Dah makin besar ni sepatutnya kena makin ambil tahu hal sekeliling. Hmm... hope aku betul-betul belajar dari hal ni. Nasib juga berlaku masa aku masih bujang-dujang, paling kurang ada juga Mama tempat aku nak rujuk ( '  _  ' )

Have fun today.

As-salam

Sounds klise, right? Something a sporting mom usually says, "Have fun today, kids!" when her kids off to the mall or seeing friends. Haha. Most of it, not happening in Malaysia. But well anyways, the tittle is regarding to something that has been in my mind for quite something. You see, I was blog walking this morning that I put my head into a friend's blog, something about confession about how she felt lately, and a part of it is about 'MENGUMPAT'! Yes, talk bad about other people.

I admit, most of time now my friends and I usually just sit, eat and talk from a topic to another, wasting time like konon a sisterhood talk. It's okay by me, because I don't usually pay too much attention towards it and tend to forget the minute I walk away from the room, and so not my habit to retell stories to others. But, when it comes to private or privacy stuffs like so, I became annoyed that I think 'the involve person' feeling too good about itself. Like I mention in my previous entry, she talks bad, she talks back! When you talk bad about a person, the person somehow will talk bad back to you to others. And, even worse. It's as simple as that.

I believe Allah S.W.T has bigger plan for us. Maybe, he wants a person to be extremely happy about how they are today because they tend to be 'not so happy' in future. Like, when we were talking bad about a person appearance, about how fat or ugly she is and how you want people to praise your beauty, maybe Allah S.W.T had decided that the fat ugly women is going to turn out to be a married women and a mother to extremely beauty with brain child. Who knows?

What ever we are doing is not going to result now. So, be careful of every words we are saying. Do not let the words eat us, okay? This is nothing personal, but I am hoping that we all can change the way we see other people. See it positive! People judge us from what we are doing and the words coming out straight from the  mouth. Talking bad about others and feeling too good about oneself is making others see more of us - about the way we think and how conservative we are.

Maybe, whatever we were saying are all true, but it's not our job to judge people. Don't take God's job.

Move the stupidity somewhere else.

As salam

I certainly am not in quite pleasant mood. I suffered from noises and lack of sleep - even if I could and should sleep like a baby. There is a time when people should pay more attention to the surrounding, of what it might speaks. People agreed to the stupidity. Yes, it's so stupid that you might want to yell the hell out of you. Sometimes, we might not even want to concern or know things, we ignored it - even if it happens right on the face, but we can't help it. The forces of the stupidity are just so strong. 

We react based on the natural and normal reaction of human being. For example, A is acting crazy and always put burdens on B, like always. What would you do? 

I am not going to answer that 'cause my answer will never change a thing. Just going to be sour face and heart-ache. For the safest method of all, I just continue to live my life, do and care for my own things - even if it's hard to do so. 

Believe me.

Checklist boyfriend idaman saya

As-salam =)

I found this on a blog.

Checklist

But, my opinion is, not all sexy women have this as their checklist. They're still hoping for a hand to come and grab them - a husband who can pays his duty towards the religion and family in the right way. It is our job to help this helpless people towards Jannah. Most of my friends are still hanging on their feet, waiting for that somebody to come and get them.

Lucky for me, I've found my guy! Alhamdulillah. Hope he'll soon be mine.