Case closed.

As-salam 

For some reason, I prefer blog to express the hell out of me. I love writing, although I know people might not have interest of what's going on with my life. Just, WTH? As you know, the school holiday had just begun. I also having my semester break. I don't have any particular event, or anything. I kind of a family-person kind of girl. I stayed home like a lot. Due to that, people rarely notice me as someone that they could rely on. I don't blame them. I might have a slight of heart-ache, sometimes, but I really don't blame them. Really! Really? Hmmm... don't know for sure. 

I am going to tell the truth about what's going on now. You see, I rarely have best friend. And only have several friends that can be labelled as 'best friend' and 'close friend'. Whenever I go, I will try my best to visit her, and at least have dinner together. But, things had changed since her break-up. We rarely contact each other, not even on FB! I was a bit worried about her since her ex keep calling me asking about her. And of course, I would back her up, even she's way wrong! But the thing is, she don't give me much to tell. I called her on her birthday last year, which was on April. She was celebrating, I think and I couldn't get the best of our conversation. I left a long message on her FB, asking her to reply or call me back, or at least arrange a meet-up later, but NEVER! 

On August, I was having a blast on my birthday, celebrating it with hubby and housemate. I keep on checking my FB's wall looking for her post, but NOTHING IS THERE! I smiled a little when I received a text message from her, wishing me a happy birthday and a slight of personal message wrote as, "kau marah aku lagi ke mek?". My ego is as high as the mountain, but I sincerely reply, "yes. dah banyak bulan aku tunggu explaination kau. and dalam banyak2 wishes, kau punya la yang aku tunggu2!". Too direct, right? But best friend are suppose to be direct! We are like sisters (back then!). But, NOTHING IS HAPPENING! No phone call, no meeting up!

It goes about a year. And this year, I don't even wish her a birthday. I bare in mind that she would notice about me not wishing her, but hell no! The truth is, this is hurting me! 

Last Saturday (25th May 2013), she got engaged. I just found out about it not until yesterday on FB. That is not even  a private engagement ceremony. She got all her best friends coming over, and I don't even get an invitation! Not even a phone call. Ya Allah, aku tahu bahawa orang yang berkecil hati lebih berdosa dari orang yang mengecilkan hati orang, tapi sedihnya bukan kepalang. Aku sangat sedih. Entah! Rasa semua tak kena. :'( Dia dah berubah, that's for sure!

Mungkin aku pun bukan sahabat yang baik. Aku tahu dan aku sedar. Aku memang tak berapa reti berkawan, terutama dengan perempuan. Aku masih tak berapa boleh faham kenapa perempuan-perempuan boleh berkawan baik? Tak nampak bondnya di situ! Entah. 

Dan aku pun tak tahu macam mana nak coretkan lagi. Apa-apa pun, aku kena teruskan juga melangkah. But, now I really know where I stand! Maafkan aku Ya Allah sebab tak redha dengan ketentuan-Mu! Dugaan sekecil ni pun aku dah rasa goyah, apatah lagi dugaan-dugaan lain? Aku redha. Kuatkan aku. Semoga aku dah tak sebut tentang perkara ini lagi.

Case closed. Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih kerana telah meminjamkan dia dan keluarganya kepada aku. =)

I could not save you guys.

As salam

It's sort of a routine to 'pack' all my fishes whenever I am gone for a long holiday, like more than three days. But, this time is a bit different that I don't bring along the over-size aquarium. Just a medium size plastic one, without the water regulator and the anti'chlorine. And, guess what? All the fishes are now gone, DEAD! I burst into tears. I couldn't even save one. The last survived fish, named 'Mamang', she had turned upside down yet still breathing. I hold on to her so that she would be in the normal size, like always. Last for few minutes, then nothing. The fins had stopped moving. They're all gone. 

It's kind of my habit to take pictures, but not this time. It's so sad to see them like that, especially the little fishes. :'( Now, I am officially fish-less. A little mistakes like mine made others lose a life. 

Bila berharap.

As-salam =)

Today got class. Lecturer ada mention pasal "susah bila dah berharap". Contoh situasi yang beliau bagi adalah lebih kepada situasi rumah tangga, atau situasi pasangan kekasih yang baru berangan nak bila mahligai. Kata beliau, kaum Hawa lebih banyak dan suka berimaginasi yang macam-macam, berbanding kaum Adam. Betul atau tidak? Aku pilih betul, sebab antara aku dan dia, memang akulah gerangannya yang suka fikirkan perkara yang indah-indah lepas kahwin nanti. Contohnya, nak berhenti kerja dan jadi suri rumah sepenuh masa, makan duit gaji sorang-sorang, hubby tolong bayar duit kereta, dll. Kalau terbayang perkara-perkara ni, memang aku akan senyum selebarnya. Rasa disayangi sangat, kan? Tapi, memang amat bahaya kalau dalam stage percintaan sekarang aku dah mula bayang benda-benda ni 'cause I tend to feel the frustration kalau ia tak berlaku seperti yang dirancang dan dibayangkan.

Kan?

Ada juga situasi "susah bila berharap" ni yang, bila kita buat sesuatu kebaikan, kita berharap yang individu tersebut juga akan balas seperti mana kita pernah berbuat baik padanya. Aku mengaku, aku individu yang macam ni. Aku cepat rasa kecewa bila semuanya tidak seperti yang diharapkan. Hampa sangat! Boleh ganggu mood for the whole day. Contoh yang nyata, kita tolong teman seseorang ke mana-mana, tapi bila masa kita perlukan dia untuk temankan kita pula, he/she couldn't make it. Kalau alasannya kukuh kita bolehlah buat ubat hati, tapi kalau alasannya, "malaslah!', "eh, kau pergilah sendiri", "hmm.. tak mau pergi kot?", tak tahulah nak cakap macam mana. Tapi, alhamdulillah, kawan-kawan kat sekeliling aku semuanya bukan jenis yang 'jual ikan' seperti yang dinyatakan. Bertuahnya badan, kan? Weee.

Contoh yang tak nyata pula, seperti kita berharap agar orang tak sakitkan hati kita, mengeji kekurangan kita dan memalukan kita di khalayak ramai, seperti mana yang kita selalu bertindak untuk tak sakitkan hati dia, tak mengeji kekurangan diri dia dan tak memalukan diri dia di khalayak ramai. Kita tak pernah mention anything pasal kekurangan dia. Tak terlintas. Tapi, bila semua tu berlaku, bila kita sendiri dah set tahap-tahap mana kita letak dia sebagai individu, bila dah berharap, rasa kecewa mula terbit. Susah nak padamkan. Tapi, cuma sekadar contoh. Alhamdulillah, tiada insan-insan yang sebegitu di sekeliling aku. Rasa hidup macam dalam syurga.. syurga.. syurga.. (impak gema). Haha. Haruslah fikir seperti hidup di syurga, kan? Baru hidup ceria-ceria selalu. Senyum sampai ke telinga sebab Allah S.W.T izinkan aku hidup di kalangan orang-orang yang baik hatinya, lurus perbuatannya. Hasad dengki? Jauh sekali. Nauzubillah. Ada ke yang nak berhasad dengki dengan aku? Aku ngak punya apa-apa yang boleh dibanggakan. LOL.

HAHA. Overstress ye? Tarik rambut nanti botak pulak.

Tulisan malam-malam macam ni penuh dengan emosi. Emosi redha dan pasrah. Tak ada apa yang boleh dibuat selain redha. Pahit mana sekali pun, alahai aku telan sahaja la. Campur budu cap Peladang sikit, tak adalah rasa pahitnya tu, kan? Senang macam tu. Tak perlu nak banyak cakap. Tak perlu nak heboh. Mengadu pada Allah S.W.T. Itu yang terbaik. Kalau orang lain nak riak atas kelebihan yang mereka ada, biarkan. Biarkan saja. Tengok dan telan saja. Mungkin kelebihan tu hanya sementara, siapa tahu? Aku sedang diuji, kau pun diuji juga. Jangan tak tahu. Ya Allah, tabahkan aku. Dah nak hampir sampai sempadan kesabaran dah ni. Jangan kerana tak sabar, habis segala aib aku perihalkan. Aku tak mau dicop sebagai mulut lantang, sibuk jaja gosip aib orang, aib sendiri tak terjaga. Minta simpanglah. 

Banyak yang boleh dihurai. Cuma malas. Baik peruntukan masa dengan sesuatu yang lebih manfaat. Banyak lagi yang perlu dikisahkan dari melayan asmaradana yang tak sudah-sudah. Paling kurang, buat sesuatu yang boleh buatkan aku tertawa dan gembira. 

Tidur dengan senang hati. Tidur dengan Robeerto sambil tengok Everybody Loves Raymond, repeat sampai pagi. Gembira. Semoga bila bangun esok pagi, dah boleh senyum puas-puas, senyum lebar, nampak ceria dan tak kusam-musam lagi. 

Weee ^ ^

Fake kindness and bla bla bla.

As-salam

Sudden, random entry for the night. My youngest sister suddenly mention about a friend of mine - not longer exist. She said, "Tiyah, shasha ingat lagi dulu friend tiyah punya rumah ada benda ni. Shasha main dengan atok dia, adik dia ... bla bla bla!". My reaction was, **sudden freeze** OMG! She remembers it? Damn! She said for him to be kind to me, helping me, bla bla bla! I kind of shocked and emotional - a bit. I said, "I am no longer be friend with him. He's no good person. You don't even mention him again, okay?, when I was playing Pictureka game with her. 

Fucking faker - fake smile and kindness.

Big fakers - fake to show kindess

It's hard to look at the pass. I don't even want to remember any of it anymore, even though the pass made me who I am today. It's better to not mention it at all. Yes, fakers are everywhere. Fakers tend to show kindness, like 'oh, I am so perfect. I helped people and I love animals', like WTF? Ah, give me a break! So damn annoying and heart-ache, oke? 

I found several almost-be-a-fakers who always practice kindness and hardworking-ness, like 24/7! Just, they are not all the time annoying, just sometimes. But I am still okay with it, really.

So, spot your own fakers and be more cautious about it. Learnt from mistakes made and never turn back as it will hold you down and walk you slow. 

Aku dah sedar diri. Terima kasih.

As-salam

Alahai, sejak bila entri BM ni? HAHA. BI leceh sikit nak karang-marang. Sekarang mood 'kasi tibai' je, janji ada entri. HAHA. Aku tulis aje banyak 'HAHA', tapi hati ni tak ada siapa yang tahu. Dah berbulan-bulan berlalu sejak peristiwa tu. Aku still tunggu penjelasan dari dia tentang, Kenapa boleh jadi macam tu?, Apa yang dah berlaku?, Kenapa korang break?, dll, tapi hampa hampas teh sangat! Aku berharap, terus terang la aku cakap. Tapi sekarang ni, aku dah sedar diri. Aku dah berhenti berharap, betul. Sebab, aku sendiri dah tak tahu banyak benda tentang kau. Cara pembawakan diri kau pun dah nampak beza, like I don't know you anymore, so, that's it!

We are not more than just a childhood friend. Fullstop.

We used to be A-Z!

But now, it's just like this one. 

Masing-masing dah besar and matang, so we lead our own path. Still, no heart feeling, sebabnya manusia datang dan pergi. If this turns to be like this, then so obvious that you no longer need me in your life. Fine by me.

I have something to tell you, deary.

"I have always cherish the moments of us together. You're in my world ever since I am just an ugly fat kid. You've been in all my ups and downs. Thank you for that. I think you knew me enough. Just, not well enough. We did made time for that, but we didn't bought enough times, though. Now the time had passed, we've been too far from each other that I can clearly see there's no turning back, so be it. Thank you to prove I am right, that you are not more than just my childhood best friend. No heart feeling. I can live up with all the good memories of us. Until death do us apart. Thanks."

Terima kasih. 

Alkisah Jalan Todak.

As-salam 

Hari ini rasa amat malas nak bangun pagi. Rasa nak sorok dalam selimut lama-lama, sebabnya hari ini aku secara terpaksa drive ke Penang untuk maki-maki orang. Tengah syok-syok cuti-cutian sambil online 24/7, tetiba broadband tak boleh connect. Memang hangin satu badan la! But then, mula-mula masih berbaik sangka lagi, kononnya mungkin masalah line, or masalah laptop berat, etc. Nak sedapkan hati ye sebenarnya tu. Bila masih tak boleh, jari mula gatal dail 1111 - Celcom Customer Service. Sangat terkejut bila CCS cakap aku ada bayaran tertunggak untuk broadband. Memang bodoh betul sebab aku already buat payment sampai bulan Disember, oke? Last payment yang dicatatkan was on 7th September. Memang bodoh!

Alkisahnya, bulan Julai hari tu lepas elaun masuk, aku dah tukar pelan untuk broadband. Kononnya, nak pilih line lebih laju la supaya senang online. Aku buat urusan dengan satu kiosk Celcom di Jalan Todak, Penang. Oke, kejap lagi aku akan attach map ye? Supaya tak ada orang yang akan alami benda yang sama dengan aku. Menyusahkan betul! Aku dah buat payment sebanyak RM400.00 TUNAI untuk bayaran broadband dari Julai hingga Disember, termasuk bayaran tunggakan untuk pelan broadband sebelum ni. Bulan Ogos hari tu, perkara yang sama berlaku. Aku call CCS tanya akan perkara ni, then CCS cakap yang CCS terima arahan untuk deactivate akaun broadband aku. Aku sangat-sangat pelik walhal aku tak pernah keluarkan arahan macam tu. Aku marah sampai menggeletar tangan, tapi kena cover sebab masa aku tahu perkara ni, aku dalam mesyuarat guru (time praktikum). Tak ada orang yang bodoh akan matikan servis sedangkan dah bayar wang sedepuk kan? So, aku pun call dealer tu and siap ugut-ugut nak lapor polis. Dia takut then terus aktifkan semula line aku. Oke, lepas kes ni aku ingat dah tak ada apa-apa la. Tapi Ahad yang lepas (11.11.2012), hal yang sama berulang balik. Aku sampai terpaksa ke Celcom Centre, ambil nombor, tunggu giliran untuk bincangkan hal ni dengan pekerja Celcom. Yang malangnya, pekerja tu cakap susah nak tolong if aku tak ada resit. Yes, memang ada resit cuma aku sudah terhilangkan since dah banyak kali pindah randah dan merempat. Salah sendiri kan?

Since resit dah hilang, berserta nombor telefon dealer tu, aku terpaksa drive ke Penang pagi ni untuk bersemuka dengan dealer bodoh tu. Haaiisshh!! Memang ganggu cuti aku betul! Time drive punya berkobar-kobar nak cari gaduh, fikir nak cakap apa, sambil dengar HITS.FM dengan lagu catchy memang menaikkan semangat aku nak 'senteng lengan baju' dan 'angkat kain'. Tapi, bila Mama tukar ke channel SINAR.FM, ayyyooo... memang mood gaduh pudar terus dalam diri aku. Aku cakap kat Mama,

"Ma. Tadi pasang lagu mat saleh, boleh la feel feel nak cari gaduh sat lagi, tapi ni dah tukar channel, lagu dangdut pulak, rasanya kejap lagi mesti Tirah cakap, 'awak tak boleh aktifkan balik broadband saya? tak apa. tak apa (nada redha)'. HAHA!"

Memang sangat stress. Sampai terpaksa gelak. Giler! Sampai dengar lagu Rihanna terbaru tajuk, 'Diamond' kot? pun rasa lawak dan bodoh semacam tempo lagu tu. Aku drive sambil gelak sampai terlepas stering. HAHA! Bodoh. But, bila sampai situ, aku terus ke kiosk bodoh tu dan deal dengan dealer tu. Aku ingat dah bankrup sebab kedai dia messy semacam. Rupanya baru buka. Dealer tu minta aku ke kiosk lain sebab dia baru bukak kedai. Masa tu pukul 2.00 PM oke? Baru nak buka kedai, orang lain dah pergi makan tengahari. Aku mention pasal payment masuk tak habis setiap bulan, line terminated, etc, tapi reaksi dia ialah:

"Oh, you yang hari tu buat payment RM400.00 kan? Hari tu sudah masuk payment la".

AKU: "Aaah. Memang la dah masuk payment, tapi last payment was on 7th Sept. Now already 12 Nov. How come? I didn't pay much for such craps! I terpaksa drive from Sg. Petani to settle this".

"Oh why you tak call saya maa?"

"Cause I thought you learnt your lesson bila saya ugut nak report polis hari tu. OK, now is like this, tolong bayar baki duit broadband saya in FULL - RM162.00!" 

"Oh. Ok. Saya masukkan la baki you haa. Next month you bayar sendiri."

Lesson learnt! Untuk urusan rasmi yang melibatkan jangka masa panjang, tolong uruskan hal tersebut dengan pihak atasan. Contoh dalam kes ni, CELCOM CENTRE sendiri. Berurusan dengan dealer cuma perihal top-up dan beli SIM sahaja oke? Jika tak mahu berkesudahan macam aku, please dengar cakap dan belajar dari pengalaman aku.

Celcom Centre (Main). Selang beberapa kedai sahaja.

JALAN TODAK, sederet dengan Maxis Centre.

Aku tak peduli kalau gambar atas ni kurang jelas ke apa. Lantak. Moody lagi ni. Walaupun dah boleh online, tapi tetap menyampah.

Lately, aku makin kerap nak ditipu peniaga or penjaja tepi jalan. Macam hari tu aku sangat2 stress dengan situasi semasa, aku keluar jalan-jalan beli barang sorang kat Tesco Extra Penang, aku disapa penjaja barangan elektrik. Diorang tawarkan aku barangan elektrik berharga RM3388.00. Lepas dapat kupon bertuah, aku dapat less sehingga 40% OFF, so harga suda jadi RM2023.00 dan boleh dapat free 1 barang bernilai RM3388.00. Orang bodoh barang elektrik macam aku memang sangat2 impressed dengar tawaran tu, kan? Peniaga tu insisted untuk aku buat Kredit Kad on the dot, but nasib aku berkeras juga nak call Mama tanya dia pasal hal ini. Mama suruh aku lari dari tempat tu. Lepas tu baru aku boleh fikir logik. Oke, tempat MASAK HOT PLATE yang macam kaca satu line tu harga RM3388.00 aku boleh percaya sebab maybe harga mahal pasal jenama Antarabangsa, tapi Microwave Oven, Air Purifier, Vacuum, individually harga RM3388.00, macam tipu kan? Belum masuk hal insurans Prudential lagi. Bodoh. Rugi duit saja!

Wake up! Dah makin besar ni sepatutnya kena makin ambil tahu hal sekeliling. Hmm... hope aku betul-betul belajar dari hal ni. Nasib juga berlaku masa aku masih bujang-dujang, paling kurang ada juga Mama tempat aku nak rujuk ( '  _  ' )

To one little thing that change the Universe

As-salam =)

To one little thing, it may leads to the changing of how the world works. I really believe that! Allah S.W.T created human, woman as a 'baby factory', to where the human beings keep growing and expand. Problem occurs when human start to go against the nature. For example, one healthy fertilized female go against it by limiting her births may cause big thing later on. 

I have been facing one sort of related situation last Friday when a 10 years old boy failed to tolerate with the friends. He would cry for hours whenever the demands did not be fulfill. It sucks when he starts to cry and yell for hours. I go nuts by his behavior yet show my professional side by doing one short counselling with the boy. He's actually the only child in the family. The father is an Engineer while the mother is a Manager in a factory within Penang area. I assume he gets lonely most of the time. And, maybe the parents are not the type of 'redeem' the lost family hours. No wonder he can't tolerate. He's a cry baby; 10 years old cry baby. 

You see. Problem occurred, right? It is only one small part of things that lead to the changing of how the Universe works. I've seen a big potential in a current issues of lesbian and gay that may change the human system forever. In future, we might have the third gender - shemale. 

'Shemale' in Islam is called, 'KUNSA'. But the thing is, the person is naturally born with two sex organs. The parents had to consult with the Ustaz/Ustazah about which sex organ should be 'terminated'. The baby won't live with two sex organs. We just have to choose. Yet, the 'shemale' happened to be greedy about having more than one sex organs. So, it's not really 'KUNSA' after all. Just look like it. If the 'disease' continues, the entire system will break down, forming another systems full with chaos and disastrous. 

If we look this into one small particles, we may see, even one house routine may cause big problem later. Am I right? Let's say, I refuse to wash all my clothes according to the schedule. In the end of the day, I may not have clean clothes to wear. 

The point is, in whatever aspect of life, small things should be taken seriously. This one small thing may turn out to be one huge thing if we continue to pay attention. 

Understand? 

I still have my own weaknesses regarding the matter. I am somebody who just love to hold on my chores - jobs, home chores. At the end of the semester, it's also the end of me. As for today, I put a long pause to finish all my school works. Only 50% finished. Another 50% still on hold. 

Bad habit. I should just get rid of it already. I am 22 now. What do I expect? People judge me from the way I handle my works and the choices I made. I should be ashamed. I am like the 'shemale'. I could turn the whole systems to a black hole. 

Shame on me.

What so limited edition?

As-salam =)

There is a mini-giveaway contest I've been thinking about lately. I've to write and create an entry about 'I AM LIMITED EDITION'! But, the thing is, I really don't know I am limited edition. I don't know where are my strengths, but spotted so many weaknesses about myself. I mean, these passed two weeks of practicum had been not so pleasant. Students did not fear me. I lost control on some of the classes, even the first class. You see, I am too worried about students not getting involve in every activities I made, so I keep on repeating orders; two, three times and sometimes more. Due to my action, the class keeps dragging and I did 'step in' other teacher's period. It was on my first week of practicum.  Chaos!

As for today, the lecturer came to observe. My fiance and I, we've been told about this and we did the best that we can. My observation starts first at 7.40 a.m until 8.40 a.m. Over all, she's happy with the way I control the class. Alhamdulillah. 

But, I'd noticed that one of teachers there marked as ROF, he did went to see my lecturer to complaint about me. He squads down beside the table and tells tale about my dragging thing. End of lesson, my lecturer, fiance and I had a talk about improving the teaching skills, our strength and weaknesses. She did mention about ROF complaints about my behaviour. And I explained to her about what really happened and she's  okay with that. She even backs me up about it. She did mention about ROF being so unprofessional about this. Because, instead of confronting me, he ends up telling the fiance about it. He had his chance to talk me out about this but he never did. 

I don't mind people complaint about me. It's good to helps me build up my teaching skills and the control towards my lesson. BUT, 

1. He's not coming directly to see me to talk about it.
2. Yet, he ends up to see my lecturer  without even consult it with me.
3. He's not a good teacher to begin with. 

I've seen him teaching. He teaches with his feet up on the table, resting to the chair.

So, by seeing his way of teaching, then I must say, he's not the right person to judge me and file a complaint about me! Okay? I am pretty angry now. I planned to walk my students towards their class and meet him. Tekad!

Aku tak peduli kalau dia nak complain aku ni guru pelatih yang ego or what. Hell with it! 'cause he's not the right person to do so! With his sloppy looking, kemeja berlengan pendek, seluar slack yang dilipat bawah dan jambang  yang tak terurus, dia memang tak layak nak tegur aku. Komplain cukup kencang tapi diri sendiri tak tengok pulak!

Fullstop. Jarang aku marah tapi this time memang so HOT! Bukan dia yang nak menilai pengurusan kelas aku, so why should I scared of him? He has no reason to be respect!

Mentally Unhealthy!

As-salam =)

It has been a month since I left home. Living only half an hour from my hometown is not a ticket to go back every week. The pressure of studying is keep on pressing me down these hectic days (been weeks already!) and I am about to give up. 

Please, motivate me! I am totally tired, mentally! I can't take any additional pressure. Sleep is not the best medicine to cure the sickness, in fact, I need to go out, nowhere specific, just O-U-T! Even a kilometer is a total fine. 

My friends and I, we survived on a killer-MIKRO MAKRO- teaching, three days straight for three boring hours ON THE EVENING. I repeat, ON THE EVENING! Oh, don't ask! Even I don't know how'd I survived! And, I have to mentally prepared for another at least three hours of suicide-NIGHT CLASS today, after one hour of stressing lecture. Oh! 

I can't barely think now!

The girls, we talked about controlling of what we ate and might eat in order to stay healthy and in shape, BUT we really miss one important thing, which is MENTALLY HEALTHY! How to be healthy if mentally we are not healthy? I really believe, even a Psychologist can't stand this kind of pressure! haha. 

So, unhealthy la right now! 

Sedangkan orang alim diberi RM1,000,000 pun habis

As-salam

Seolah-olah seperti terjaga dari tidur yang lena. A huge wake up call for me! .. sedangkan orang alim diberi RM1,000,00.00 pun habis, apatah lagi hamba biasa yang ada turun naik amal ibadatnya. 

Pandangan orang terhadap kita ni memang sukar nak diduga. Biar pun kita sentiasa ikhlas dan tak berkira, tetapi dah jadi lumrah hidup, akan ada yang nampak tak kena dengan perbuatan dan tindakan kita. 

Aku dah berdosa kerana berkecil hati dengan apa yang berlaku. Sungguh, aku tak berapa mampu membendung perasaan tu! Mungkin akan ambil masa seketika hingga benar-benar sembuh. :'(

Luaran dan dalaman tak semestinya bergerak seiring, kan? Entahlah, aku sendiri tak tahu apa yang aku fikirkan. Penyelesaian yang macam mana yang aku nak aku sendiri tak tahu!

Mulut orang, aku tak boleh hentikan dari berkata-kata. 

Hati orang, aku tak boleh halang dari bersangka buruk.

Telinga orang, aku tak boleh sekat dari mendengar.

Mulut, hati dan telinga, boleh dikalahkan sekiranya ada akal yang tajam. Fikirkan sedalam-dalamnya, pertimbangkan kesahihannya! 

Aku rasa sangat-sangat terbeban selagi masalah ni tak selesai. 

Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan ku! Hindari aku dari fitnah dunia yang Maha Besar. Jauhi aku dari hasad dengki manusia durjana! Terangi hati mereka dengan cahaya petunjuk Mu. Bantulah aku. Sesungguhnya Kau Maha Besar, lagi Maha Mengetahui.

I still did it and not ashame!

As-salam =)

Have you ever heard of 'nenek kebayan'? Well, I am not going to tell tale about the Legendary of the Gunong Ledang. Just an entry about this Malaysian 'permainan tradisional' so called, 'nenek'. Usually kids would say, "Jom main nenek-nenek'! Believe it or not, I still play this 'permainan tradisional' with my youngest sister, Shasha and my Chinese neighbor's, three years old kid named Eric. It is sort of a routine of these kids to go out and play like almost everyday at 6.00pm sharp! Shasha, she so excited to have someone to play with - someone in her age that she would asks 'Yayah, dah pukul berapa?' like 1000 times daily! She annoyed me, but it is what I miss most these days! =(

The first 'nenek'!

Finally, Cik Sarah made up her mind to join us.

Cik Sarah starts spinning and dizzy. HAHA.

Last 'nenek', Wawa before she off to date with Momo?

I must admit, this is an interesting game, even for young adult like myself! It's fun to do something crazy once in awhile and my perfect and absolute favourite to describe the situation is, distress! 

Haha. Please, adults! Do fun stuffs, enjoy yourself! Back to childhood is not even a sin, and totally not guilty. Let go of the grip for awhile and distress! Perfect for weekend and totally suitable to bond-up the family relationship.

Stupid to concern!

Yes, still stupid to be concerned!

Tak banyak yang aku perlu coretkan ..

Senyum!

Itu yang palling penting ..

So, senyumlah ok?

Hiduplah seolah-olah kamu akan hidup 1000 tahun lagi

.. walau segetir mana pun kehidupan yang kamu lalui!

p/s: Will never care! I swear! So, be happy la.. less a burden!

Don't fear pressure!

I was scrolling my Facebook's notifications and most recent updates when I see this 'Yes, I agree!' status of my best friend's brother's girlfriend .. written :

" as i walked down the lecturer's office...i found this..    

"don't fear pressure. it is 

pressure that turns rough stones into 

diamonds".

It really make me realize that only hard works can teach oneself. Cheating and coping and be a parasite! .. it only helps now, but not then! So, why fear pressure? .. and my absolute and only answer will be ..

"Stress lar .. nanti kulit tak cantik baru tahu!"

Haha .. this is how I calm myself in time of need! 

So, what's yours? 

Quick entry: Need to get out!

Too much 'outside' stress .. All the works and all the heart-ache sort of welcoming the over-whelm stress and the headache! Oh, I need some fresh air .. need some quick recovery! 

What to do?

Body massage and some serious shopping of course!

My last serious shopping .. barely about two or three weeks ago at Billion, Kota Bahru (7 Mac 2011)

Yeay! 

Hehe .. my dear Hafizah, later on kita pergi massage ok?

We need too and totally deserve it ..

sebagai ganjaran untuk segala kesabaran mengharungi ranjau dan onak berduri (ceit!) ..

dan sebagai ganjaran untuk penat yang tak berkesudahan !

Hmm .. siannya la hai cik badan ni! dan cik mulut yang sangat sudah penat bersungut .. cik mata-mata yang sudah sakit melihat .. dan cik hati yang kian membengkak!

Sabarlah sayang .. 

Masanya dia akan tiba

Kesilapan orang lain jangan kita ulang .. sebab kita tahu betapa sakitnya hati bila orang buat kita macam tu.. 

OK?

.. dan mudah-mudahan dia akan berubah 

dan tak bersikap pentingkan diri dan menyusahkan orang ramai lagi ..