In the end, it's really up to me.

As-salam =)

Second entry for today. Ideas suddenly pooped up off the head, pushed my fingers to dance at the keyboard. It's always something when it comes to people around us. Sometimes, it's just hard enough to describe what and how are they thinking. And, most of times, we end up misunderstood them. Am I right? So, as for me, I had learnt a big lesson today. I learnt that,

"People may seems just nice enough - most of time right in front you. But, deep inside them, you might not gonna realize 'the strategy' they are playing to beat you up. The moment you knew, it would be too late to cry. But, here's the good part! You can always learn from it".

This one is priceless, and it's mine! =)

Am I hurting anyone??

 Most of friends prefers to talk to others before making a move. But, this strategy end up making them miles back behind others; it slows them down. People have this fear of  'to hurt' - fear of hurting others. Actually, too afraid that they might coincidentally hurt others. Nonsense! You can always apologize, right? So, what's up with that kind of thought?

We made decision, whether to go left or right.

I've been in the incident, where I could consult with this one friend of mine - used to be so close. But, it ends up with all this incident of stabbing at the back, sour faces and do not talk to one another. And now, I realize, that I could always consult with anyone I wanted, but the decision is always on me. He/She not suppose to decide on what and how I should do. They can just share the thought. The rest is on me.

But, by doing this, I can clearly see the falseness of screwed friendship. I've seen it before, just I keep forgetting about how hurt it is to be stabbed. I purposely forgetting it so that I could easily forgive and forget. But, since 'things' are just like what it used to be, then I'll say, "Gotcha, faker!".

Gosh, you are fake!!

When things are just hard enough, you insisted to put rock on me.

As-salam

Things are just getting worse these days. We were falling apart, doing own things and not considering loyalty and spirit. It's just, I am glad that you can finally feel and see everything I've been through. 

"When things are just hard enough, you insisted to put rock on me" 

(Yaya Qiestina, 2012)

I am more matured now, thanks to you. But sorry, by matured, it doesn't mean to easily forgive and forget of what you did to me when everything turns it back on me. You just make my day hard enough to live, with the fake smile and acts. Damn, hate it! Now, that things has finally reveal the true you, I am glad. So that you can learn to give-and-take and to consider - not taking control of everything as if you are just best enough! I don't know how many times I might need, but I am still hurt.

I knew all about the 'talking bad' behind my back, believe me. It is so obvious that you are that somebody who could talk bad about others. Now, its your turn to experienced it. So, good luck, then! I considered myself as one good friend since I can actually wish you best luck :P

I don't give a damn about what might be happening. The thing is, I don't really care. Serve you well. Remember the quota,

"What goes around, comes around" - 

I knew how it feels - Sayonara

As-salam

One fine evening turns to a tragedy when this silver/grey Harrier knocked down my home cat, Gege. The car don't even hesitate to slow down or stop. Surely, he/she knows about the knocking thing since the Chinese neighbors also aware about it, even they are at the end of the corner (few houses away from mine).

FUCK YOU, Harrier!!!!!!

I am still shocked about what had happened. The cat ran out of the house to play at the porch, when the younger sister ran towards her. She is one playful cat that she responses by running towards the open road, and then, bbbbaaannngggg!!!!! She's all gone! Once again, the fucking Harrier don't even hesitate to stop!!!

I was all panicking when I saw the cat had been knocked down. No injuries! We thought that she's been hit on the legs, but the legs seem fine. I kindly look at the cat, and said, "She could not make it!", yet still ran inside to get my hijab to take her to the pet clinic. Too late, she's already gone!

Actually, I am quite relieve that she's gone. If not, she could have suffered broken ribs - maybe she could not even stand up. Its the fucking Harrier I am so pissed about!

Its all happened so fast that I could not take it all in one shot. I needed times. I am the one who took care of this pity cat when she was sick. I cleaned the ears, doing the bath, feed her medicines, all that. Pity to see her died right in front of me :(

Now I know how the sister felt when she lost her cat (also my cat. Its just, she cares about the cat a lot, like I did to this dead cat!). Its hard to believe.

LY, MY!

Bury her beside the old cat named, Berok

Marked by one broken roof piece

Where she rest in peace

This is a continued writing (7/2/2012). I still can't get her off the mind. Now, whenever I look at cats, I start to think of her. Don't know I could miss her this much; although she's one annoying cat - yet cute! :( Mom keep on reminding me to not bring my hostel's cat home. And I said, "Don't worry lar! I am done with this cat thing for a while".