Thanks NurulBadiah Lai ^ ^

As-salam =)

It was just another day for me. Sitting at home, doing home-chores as always and eat. I logged in into my blog and scroll down my dashboard and saw this one entry about 'How to be strong?'. She claims that one of her readers had told her one sad story about her life journey - about how tough it was that sometimes she thought of giving up. I scanning the entry and only look for important part (I always like that! ^ ^). But, then I realized something. 

"I am living one good life here and sometimes I don't realize that!"

A friend of mine, she told me about how lucky I am to get the chance to spend time with my mother, go shopping, family holidays, go around Malaysia, having a family reunion, etc. Yet, her mother do not even go to shopping mall since not feeling so well. I smell the enviousness somehow. Deep down, I am empathy for her situation, really. 

But,

She have something I don't.

"She have one strong relationship with the grandparents (both sides) that she could lay down on her grandma, race with her, gossiping... something that I don't usually do with mine".

Merciful Allah S.W.T. Allah know best about us. He had planned for a better one. What count is life upon death. Maybe my life is not best after all. Failure, sickness, poorness are some the signs of Allah, about how He remains us to always remember Him, to show His love. And as one of the ways for us to be forgiven on sins we made. 

So, what made me so special, then? We are all the same. Happy life, sad life, life full of struggle... are life worth living for. Because what counts is life beyond - AKHIRAT. 

Most important thing is, "TO LIVE FOR ALLAH S.W.T"

For now on, set our mind to live for Allah S.W.T. InsyaAllah. It is not easy to do so. But, pray hard for Allah. Nothing is impossible by the help of Allah S.W.T. 

I had some plans that had been on my mind for quite sometimes. It was my plan in three of four years times. May Allah have His Mercy on me.  

Not yet married.

As-salam =)

I am not yet married. But sort of engaged. In Islam, the moment the man express his thought to have her as his wife, the woman is considered to be engaged, even with no witness and writing. I have a story to share with you guys. We went to dinner just now. I really do not know how to dress tonight. I pull one of my unfolded long sleeve shirt out of my basket. I thought this baby blue would be nice, just the shirt is short. So, I thought of wearing it along with my skirt-attached pants to cover up my bottom. Okay, decided then. At the restaurant, hubby asks about what am I wearing? I knew it would come out. So, I explain myself of why I have the shirt worn with the pants to cover up my bottom and so on. Then he said, "Sayang, ini bukan seluar. Tapi legging." To cut short the conversation, I translated of the whole thing he said to the man version of talking (just so you know, man always talking indirectly :p) 

Legging is not pants and it looks sexy on me (Okay, since I gained weight. The tight are really showing. The curve is much obvious now!). But what he really means was, I am not suppose to wear that there, at least not to be matched with a short shirt. 

I get his point. InsyaAllah =) I am praying for that, to be more alert or aware about the way I dress and how I handle myself. I am assisting myself now to be a good wife later. Despite of most of thing I did, I try to look it on how a wife should do, should really behave herself.

InsyaAllah.

Like seriously, no guarantee.

As-salam

I was browsing through my albums of snapshot just now. Most things about me had changed. And some of it just vanished that I started to change into this much mature and grown up a.k.a adult. It’s not that I missed my old self, just I truly grateful to God to have lend me this opportunity to become His better servant :’(

I am grateful to have met him. He changed most things about me, lending his hands for my rise and my fall. I begin to remember about time when my sister and I had this conversation about how mother is truly grateful about me behaved and starting or deciding to have the hijab on. I did know that, just I don’t have a clue about how happy she became and truly grateful to Allah S.W.T.

I begin to wonder, what if things are not like this. Will I stop being a spoil brat at the age of 22? When would I be at the weekend? No idea.

I pray for things to turn well.

I still have the anger inside of me but it’s in control position that I starting to think clearly, most of time minus the ‘full moon’. Just, I can’t help it when it comes to ‘the third person’. I could lose control that I surely will slap or punch her and talk stupid out load and even could spits on her. Don’t try me because there’s no guarantee that I can feel my arms or control my body, like seriously.

But, whatever it is, I pray for it to not happen so that my bad habit will remains a secret until I graduated.

2006

2008 - Raya AidilFitri Jab. PJK IPGKTB

Willingly to wear hijab - 2008

2009 - Not even stylish

2010 - Family dinner

2011 - Present: Full time hijabers. InsyaAllah.

Pray for me.

Thanks.